Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
