i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
