I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
