i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
