so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
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Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
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It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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