i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize