Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
