Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
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I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
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Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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