Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
