So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
