But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
