Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so let's talk penis.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
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Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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