The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
