All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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