New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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