Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
