If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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