im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize