Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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