GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize