you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
