I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
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My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
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and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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