Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
