Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
