Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
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I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
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That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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