you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Who died my cat blue again?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
