Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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