It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
