Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
