Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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