My brain says no but my pants say off.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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