I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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