Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
