Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
