its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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