in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
