I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
