Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
