And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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