You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
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the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
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