Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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