I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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