So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
