i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
