Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
