i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Mom said you looked used
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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