I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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