so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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