Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize