have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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