He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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