READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My hand turned me down
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
