Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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