what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
