I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
