Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
