It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
