My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
