i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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