YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
