i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
