with your own penis?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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